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WINNING THE WAR WITH SELF
ICEBREAKER
For an icebreaker, we’re going to test your knowledge of American wars. For those of you in other countries, you could do the same kind of activity with well-known wars in your nation’s history. I’ll give you the dates, and then you tell me what war was fought during those years. You could do this is a quick handout activity as well by having them match the years with the war that was fought during that time period.
1. 1756-1763 G French and Indian Wars
2. 1775-1783 E American Revolution
3. 1861-1865 A Civil War
4. 1914-1918 B World War 1
5. 1939-1945 F World War 2
6. 1960-1975 D Vietnam
7. 2001-2021 C Present War on Terrorism/Afghanistan
TRANSITION
Sadly, war has been a major part of not only our nation’s history, but our world’s history. Conflict and battle have raged on earth since the beginning. Paul lived in a time of war as well in Ancient Rome and drew on the imagery of war to teach us an important lesson about mortality. In Romans 7:14-25, Paul is going to describe a different kind of war. Perhaps the greatest conflict mankind has ever faced. But who’s fighting in this war? That’s the big question? What are the two sides that are facing off?
And I suggest you read these verses to your students as a teacher, so that you can practice what words to emphasize and maybe add some clarification as you go, because it does start to sound a little like a Dr. Seuss book. But here is how I would read it:
15 For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I.
16 If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good.
17 Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.
18 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.
19 For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.
20 Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.
21 I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me.
22 For I delight in the law of God after the inward man:
23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.
24 O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?
Interesting huh? What war is Paul talking about here? How would you describe it? It’s the War with Ourselves, or the War with Self. It’s the greatest conflict of all history because we all fight it, and has been raging in the souls of all mortal beings from Adam and Eve to the present day.
So some rhetorical questions to consider here:
Have you ever felt like that?
Have you ever felt that inner struggle or conflict within yourself?
Have you ever made a new year’s resolution that you didn’t end up keeping?
Have you ever consciously done something that you knew you would regret later?
Have you ever given into temptation and shortly after thought, “Why did I do that?! I didn’t want to do it, but I did it anyway."
Have you ever felt like there was a negative part of yourself that you wished you could just get rid of?
I imagine we can all relate to Paul’s statement there in vs. 24 “O wretched man that I am!” Nephi is going to say the same thing. And these were some of the greatest spirits to ever live. I suppose it’s a little comforting to know that even they too felt that inner struggle.
Well, King Benjamin probably gave us the best terms for describing the two sides or warring factions that we find within every human soul. Paul is going to use the terms “flesh” and “spirit” here in Romans, but I prefer the two terms we find in Mosiah 3:19
Q: What are they?
A: The natural man and the Saint
The natural man is that mortal, fleshy part of us that is motivated by our appetites and the senses of the flesh.
And I want to make sure that we understand that term. So let me give you a few examples of what I’m talking about here. I’m going to give you some scenarios. And I want you to ask yourself what you feel would be the most natural way to react in these situations? What would the average person do? What would come easily and naturally if these things happened?
A car cuts you off on the freeway
Somebody accidentally drops a 20$ bill as they walk by you.
A friend or coworker offers to show you pornography they have on their phone.
You see somebody whose clothing, or home, or possessions are not as nice as yours.
These aren’t hard to answer are they? The natural man gets angry on the freeway, it takes the money, indulges in lust, and pridefully thinks they are better than other people because they have more. That’s the natural man (or woman) that is inside of us.
But that’s not all we’re made of, is it? We don’t have to act in those ways because there’s another part God has placed within us all. The Saint, or the spirit. Now the Saint is the Eternal, spiritual part of us that wishes to please God and do what is right. It’s the more measured side of ourselves, the side that can look outside of itself, that considers the long term, that can sympathize and consider the needs of others or the greater good. It’s the side that can’t help but feel a sense of right and wrong. These two sides don’t always get along with each other and can be the source of great inner struggle. Sometimes this struggle is depicted humorously in cartoons with a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other.
HOW DO I DO IT?
Well what’s a mortal to do? How do we WIN this war with ourselves? How do we beat down the natural man? How do we win the war? Paul asks a key question at the end of those verses we just read. He asks, “Who shall deliver me from the body of this death?” And yeah, in this war do we have any great generals that we can turn to, that we can trust to help us win the war? Any George Washingtons, Lord Nelsons, or Dwight D. Eisenhower’s to rely on? Who can help us? You can see the answer in vs. 25? And also in verses 1 and 2 of chapter 8? Who can deliver us?
A: I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. Because there is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.
See, because we can’t do it alone. We cannot fight and win against our own sins all by ourselves. Christ comes in and defeats them. But what must we do? We must choose Christ as our general. He has an interesting title in the scriptures. Sometimes he’s referred to as the Lord of Hosts, or the Lord of armies to help us win our personal battles with the flesh. What we’ve got to do is rely on his teachings and atonement and seek to obey his words. This will help us to put the natural man into subjection. So when Satan, the adversary comes along and wins a battle or two against us and starts to establish a beach head in our lives, we turn to Christ, we repent, and Christ comes in and defeats our sins, and overthrows our offences.
But that’s not all, we have another general out there. A master strategist and tactician. He always seems to know where the enemy is, the minefields, the possible dangers, and he warns us of them, and guides us through the battlefield safely. Who is this other general? We can find them also in . . .
8:1, 8:4, and 8:26 Who am I referring to here?
1 There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
4 That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
26 Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.
It’s the Spirit that can help us. The more we listen to his instructions. The more we trust his maneuvers. The more we act on his guidance, the stronger our Saint will be. We’ll push the enemy back and subdue our natural man.
As C.S. Lewis expressed what he imagined God would say to us:
“Give me all of you!!! I don’t want so much of your time, so much of your talents and money, and so much of your work. I want YOU!!! ALL OF YOU!! I have not come to torment or frustrate the natural man or woman, but to KILL IT! No half measures will do. I don’t want to only prune a branch here and a branch there; rather I want the whole tree out! Hand it over to me, the whole outfit, all of your desires, all of your wants and wishes and dreams. Turn them ALL over to me, give yourself to me and I will make of you a new self---in my image. Give me yourself and in exchange I will give you Myself. My will, shall become your will. My heart, shall become your heart.” C.S. Lewis. Mere Christianity
This also reminds me of the story of the two wolves. Are you familiar with this one? An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life and says, “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.
“It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
As we turn to Christ, rely on his teachings and atonement, and heed the promptings of the Spirit we feed the good wolf and starve the bad one. And we can win this war!
The Spoils of War
Well, when you win a war, there are spoils or rewards you gain for winning. You’ve probably heard the phrase “To the victor goes the spoils”. Well what are the spoils of this war? Why is it a war worth fighting? The rest of chapter 8 is going to tell us about them. And there are quite a few, I think I’ve identified at least 18 of them in chapter 8, but for time’s sake I’m just going to zero in on a handful of my favorites.
And I might present this as a Pick and Ponder Activity. Give your students the freedom to choose any of the following references and ponder how that particular verse or verses offers hope and encouragement to fight on. In my opinion, these are some of the most beautiful and inspiring verses in all of scripture. Because life is often difficult. This war with ourselves is not easy. What’s the most famous quote or saying about war? “War is hell.” And life can seem like that at times. It can be very difficult. But morale is vital to winning a war. Here, God has some incredible promises to his faithful soldiers that choose to fight their natural man. Seriously, these are verses that can help you get through almost anything. My favorite verse of all scripture is in here. And that’s saying something because I love the scriptures. But you banished me to a deserted island, and I could only take one verse with me, one of these verses in Romans 8 would be it. When I teach the youth, just for fun and to encourage sharing, I tell them that if they happen to pick my favorite verse and share their thoughts on it, I’ll give them a treat. That’s not to say that it’s the best verse on this list, it’s just my favorite verse. So here we go, I’d love to share my thoughts on just a few of these amazing verses and then I’ll just fill you in the rest. But here are the spoils of conquering self.
8:15. We get to call God Abba, Father. When we conquer the self, we gain a new kind of relationship with our Father in Heaven, he becomes Abba to us. Abba is the word for father framed by the mouths of infants and children. The closest English translation would be, Daddy, or Papa. As we seek to conquer the natural man, we gain a closeness with the Father that is similar. That loving, cherishing, comfortable type of relationship . My children are grown now and it’s kind of sad that I’m no longer Daddy. Just Dad, now. But I will always cherish the memories of the days when my children called me by that title. I always loved coming home from work to cries of “Daddy! Daddy” and children running to me and grabbing my knees. Or when I would say goodnight to my daughter, and she would reach her little arms around my neck and give me a kiss on the cheek and say, “I love you Daddy”. God can be that to us!
8:18 My sufferings will not be worthy to be compared to the glory which shall be revealed in me. Now that’s quite a statement if you consider the source. This is not just a mere theological speculation on the subject. Paul was a man who knew suffering and adversity. You could argue that besides Jesus Christ, nobody suffers more than Paul in the New Testament. You get a sense of that suffering in 2 Corinthians 11:23-27, he’s also a man who knew what heaven was like, he tells us that he had a vision of it in 2 Corinthians 12:1-4. So he had seen and experienced both. The heights of heaven and the depths of suffering. And what was his conclusion? No comparison. Maybe we place too much emphasis on our current suffering because we don’t fully realize the promise of future rewards. We just don’t get it. Yes, this life can be excruciatingly painful, and the depths of human suffering are seemingly bottomless, but our Father in Heaven runs quite the recovery room. As Isaiah says in Isaiah 64:4 "4 For since the beginning of the world men have not heard, nor perceived by the ear, neither hath the eye seen, O God, beside thee, what he hath prepared for him that waiteth for him.” Paul actually quotes that verse in 1 Corinthians. Simply put, enduring to the end will be worth it.
Which idea leads right into the next spoil that I want to focus on, and this IS my favorite verse of all scripture.
8:28 He will make all things work together for my good. If you want to assure a happy ending to your story, just love God, and the rest will take care of itself. He can make goods out of all of our bads. He can take any negative in your life, and you may have a lot. You could probably very easily list them. In my life there is this negative and this one and this one, and this. And Christ comes along, and he says, just love me and my father and I promise you that at some future point, by the power of my cross, I will cross all of your negatives, and make them positive. The story of Joseph of Egypt in the Old Testament is probably the best-case study of this principle. He had so many negatives in his life for years and years. And then finally, after persevering and loving God throughout it all, God turned all of it around and made it hugely positive. He will do the same for us! What other things in our lives can He turn for our good? Our mistakes, our weaknesses, our sorrows, our tragedies. Even if we can’t see it now, somewhere down the road, we will look back at these negatives in our lives, and we will see, with an eternal perspective, the good that came out of them. Perhaps you’ve had an experience like that already, where in the midst of your trial, you couldn’t see any earthly good that could come from it, but later in your life, in hindsight, you find it. Junior High was an experience like that for me. Times on my mission where like that for me. Difficult family experiences have been like that. In the moment, sometimes I’ve wondered what earthly good could ever come of them. But later, I look back and see the beauty and the blessing in them. God makes it good. C.S. Lewis spoke of this phenomenon in this very eloquently expressed passage from The Great Divorce.
"ye cannot in your present state understand eternity: . . . But ye can get some likeness of it if ye say that both good and evil, when they are full grown, become retrospective. . . . all this earthly past will have been Heaven to those who are saved. . . . all their life on earth too, will then be seen by the damned to have been Hell. That is what mortals misunderstand. They say of some temporal suffering, `No future bliss can make up for it,' not knowing that Heaven, once attained, will work backwards and turn even that agony into a glory. And of some sinful pleasure they say `Let me but have this and I'll take the consequences': little dreaming how damnation will spread back and back into their past and contaminate the pleasure of the sin. Both processes begin even before death. The good man's past begins to change so that his forgiven sins and remembered sorrows take on the quality of Heaven: the bad man's past already conforms to his badness and is filled only with dreariness. And that is why, at the end of all things, when the sun rises here and the twilight turns to blackness down there, the Blessed will say, `We have never lived anywhere except in Heaven,' and the Lost, `We were always in Hell.' And both will speak truly." "Ah, the Saved . . . what happens to them is best described as the opposite of a mirage. What seemed, when they entered it, to be the vale of misery turns out, when they look back, to have been a well; and where present experience saw only salt deserts memory truthfully records that the pools were full of water."
(C.S. Lewis "The Great Divorce: 67-68)
So please, all my friends out there, from the bottom of my heart, remember, All things work together for good to them that Love God. That’s the kind of statement that can guide an individual for a lifetime and get them through almost anything. I know it’s done that for me.
8:35, 38-39
Here Paul asks us to consider a question. Who or what shall separate us from the Love of Christ? Or in other words, what has the power to get between you and the love of our Father in heaven and his son Jesus Christ? We may be tempted at times by the adversary to think that we are not loved by God based on trials that we are experiencing, or unworthy actions we’ve taken, or because of offenses that have been committed against us. But in truth, what can separate us from his love?
35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Nothing can come between you and his love. So what happens to us in this life does not change the love God has for us in any manner. That’s nice to know. I would argue that really there is only one thing that has the power to separate us from God, and that’s ourselves. The only thing to get between us and Him is our own will. Therefore, if we immerse ourselves in His love, we can let that love be a motivation to conquer every unworthy thing in our lives.
Now here are plenty of other “spoils of victory”. in this chapter you could focus on. Here are a few:
8:6 Life and peace
8:11 He quickens our mortal body by his Spirit
8:17 We become joint heirs with Christ. That means, that everything God has given to Christ will be ours as well. We too will be resurrected with a glorious body like he has. We will know what he knows and be able to do what he does. We will have his power, his attributes, his happiness, his love. That’s quite the promise there.
8:27 He makes intercession for the saints. He takes our sins upon himself.
8:32 He freely gives us all things
So much to look forward to here. Does this boost your war morale at all? I hope so.
TRUTH
There are two parts of my soul that are at war with each other—my natural man and my saint. If I can defeat my natural man with the help of God, Christ, and the Holy Ghost, then all things will work together for my good, and God will freely give me all things.
LIKEN THE SCRIPTURES
What do you feel has been the most important thing the Spirit wanted you to hear today from this lesson?
CONCLUSION
Well, I’d like to conclude with Romans 8:37 because I feel it fits so well with our theme of “The War with Self”. And it includes one final brief activity. Can you name these famous conquerors just by looking at these pictures or paintings? Who are they? These are some of the greatest conquerors in history.
This is Napoleon Bonaparte,
Genghis Khan
Alexander the Great
Cortes
Tamerlane
These men conquered vast expanses of land, secured countless victories, and dominated hundreds of thousands of people. But look what Paul says about winning the war with ourselves. It says “Nay, in all these things, we are more than conquerors, through him that loved us. The greatest battle you will ever fight will be with yourself, but if you can defeat yourself, your natural man, if you can win that war, you will have done something greater than Genghis Khan, or Napoleon Bonaparte, or Alexander the Great. You will become more than a conqueror. Please remember that you are not fighting this war alone, you have the universe’s most powerful ally. Through him that loved us, or through Jesus Christ WE WILL CONQUER. As it says in Romans 8:31 with the JST, If God be for us, who can prevail against us? Turn to Christ, and I promise you that all the promises of Romans chapter 8 will be yours.
Moving on. I wouldn’t do much with chapters 9-11 this week. There are good things in there, like the doctrine of foreordination, but with all the great messages you can share this week, I feel there are more relevant things to teach in the later chapters. And I would introduce the final chapters with the following Icebreaker
TRANSFORMED NOT CONFORMED
ICEBREAKER
I ask them: Does anybody know what it takes to become a Saint in the Catholic church?
And the answer, amongst a few other things, is to perform two miracles, (and I usually like to add a small pause after that, and then add) after you’ve already died.
Then I ask: What does it take to become a Saint in the Church of Jesus Christ? And allow some to share their thoughts.
TRANSITION
In the remaining chapters of Romans, Paul is going to teach us what it means to be a Saint or like it says in the chapter heading of Romans 12 “to live as becometh Saints”. In the Catholic and other Christian church’s sainthood is reserved for only the highest and most revered members of that faith. But in the restored Church of Jesus Christ, we are all meant to be saints. It’s in the name of our Church—the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Remember the war with self. The more we beat back our natural man, the more of a Saint we will become. So now Romans chapters 12-16 are going to teach us how to do just that. Here are some more war tactics for us to consider. And a bit of a heads up here, becoming a true Saint in the Church of Jesus Christ is a lot more involved than just performing two measly posthumous miracles.
SEARCH
And you could cover a large amount of material here by approaching this as a crossword puzzle activity. Each question highlights a phrase that describes what it means “to live as becometh a Saint.” I would also instruct my students to mark these phrases in their scriptures with a common color under the label “How to Become a Saint.”
Here are the answers:
ACROSS 3. Be not _________ to this world, but be ye transformed (Romans 12:2) CONFORMED
And I like to start with that one because it’s so good. I just love the parallelism or the rhyming of those two words. WE are not meant to conform to the values, and opinions, and actions of the rest of the world. No, Christ intends to TRANSFORM us into something different, greater, more holy. To become Saints. WE want to be transformed not conformed. 4. _____ ye on the Lord Jesus Christ. (Romans 13:14) PUT 6. Be kindly affectioned one to another with _________ love. (Romans 12:10) BROTHERLY 7. Present your bodies a living _________ (Romans 12:1) SACRIFICE 9. Live _________with all men (Romans 12:18) PEACEABLY 10. Let us walk __________ (Romans 13:13) HONESTLY 11. We then that are strong ought to _____ the infirmities of the weak (Romans 15:1) BEAR 12. Not _______ in business (Romans 12:11) SLOTHFUL DOWN 1. That ye may abound in _______ (Romans 15:13) HOPE 2. Given to _____________ (Romans 12:13) HOSPITALITY 5. That ye also are full of goodness, filled with all ____________ (Romans 15:14) KNOWLEDGE 8. Abhor that which is evil, __________ unto that which is good. (Romans 12:9) CLEAVE 10. Not to think of himself more ___________ than he ought to think (Romans 12:3) HIGHLY
Aren’t those great phrases? So inspiring.
LIKEN THE SCRIPTURES
Once my students had completed that activity, I would invite them to look over that list and 1) pick just one of the requirements that they feel is vital for a Saint to possess and then 2) Ponder a specific action that a person could take that week that would show they are striving to live that quality. For example, if they picked “to bear the infirmities of the weak” a Saint could visit an elderly grandparent, serve someone in their neighborhood that is sick or that needs help, or they could post a spiritual message on social media. Encourage them to brainstorm how that saintly quality appears in our day. Then either call on some of them to share, or have them turn to a neighbor and share.
And if you’re willing to indulge me, I’d love to share just two of my favorite phrases from that list.
12:1 “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.”
Now the reason this would be a particularly effective exhortation for a Jewish audience, is that they were accustomed to making animal sacrifices. That’s an idea that would easily resonate with that group. But Paul suggests that they start making a different kind of sacrifice. Offer their own bodies, not as martyrs, but as a LIVING sacrifice. To connect with “The War with Self” theme, we sacrifice our natural man to him. So how does one do that? Well, I can sacrifice the eyes of my natural man by only watching or looking at things that are virtuous, lovely, of good report, or praiseworthy. I can sacrifice the ears of my natural man by giving up the things of the world to listen to the prophets, or worthy music, or the still, small voice of the Spirit. I could sacrifice my feet by walking them to church, or on a mission, or to perform some act of service. But probably most of all, I could sacrifice the heart of the natural man and turn it over to God and give him my devotion, loyalty, and will. As Neal A. Maxwell once said:
“In conclusion, the submission of one’s will is really the only uniquely personal thing we have to place on God’s altar. The many other things we “give,” brothers and sisters, are actually the things He has already given or loaned to us. However, when you and I finally submit ourselves, by letting our individual wills be swallowed up in God’s will, then we are really giving something to Him! It is the only possession which is truly ours to give! Elder Neal A. Maxwell, “Swallowed Up in the Will of the Father”, Ensign (CR), November 1995, p.22
13:14 But put ye on the lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh. I like the way that’s worded, “putting on” Christ. Sometimes we may wonder how we are supposed to live a certain way when we don’t really feel like doing it. We may ask things like. “How am I supposed to help other people, when I don’t really feel like helping other people” How am I supposed to forgive my enemies, when all I can feel is anger or hatred”, “How can I have the spirit of sacrifice, when I don’t really feel like making those sacrifices”. I think Paul’s advice would be, stop worrying about feelings. Put on Christ, like a mask, and pretend you’re Him. Do the things that you think he would do, and forget about the feelings. A modern expression of this advice might be “fake it till you make it”. And I believe that an interesting thing happens when we do that. Eventually, the feelings do come, and a Christlike character is forged. It’s like the time you didn’t really want to go to the service project, but you did anyway, and by the time you were done, you were glad you did the service. Ever had that experience? Your feelings changed because you acted. It’s like the fairy tale where there’s the man whose face is badly burned and so he wears a mask and never takes it off. Then he meets the princess who finally convinces him that she doesn’t care how he looks, but loves him for who he is, and so he takes off the mask, and miraculously, he’s worn the mask for so long, that it has transformed his face to match. The same kind of thing can happen with us. The more we put on Christ, the more we will begin to reflect him in spirit and character. So if you don’t feel like a Christlike person, then I would say, just keep putting him on daily and I can promise you that, one day, you’ll take off the mask, and under it, your face will have transformed into His. You will have received his image in your countenance like Alma says (Alma 5:19).
CONCLUSION
Well, we are all meant to be SAINTS in Christ’s Church, latter-day SAINTS. And a Saint according to the New Testament definition of the word is “Someone who is holy or set apart for a sacred purpose.” We are meant to be a holy people that have been set apart to be different from the rest of the world. The things that Paul teaches us in these chapters can help us to know what it means to become a true Saint. We are not meant to conform but transform.
DESPISERS, JUDGERS, OR PEACEMAKERS
Well, one more lesson idea that I think you’ll really enjoy that comes from Romans chapter 14. If we are to truly be Saints, then here is one more additional quality or characteristic that we must have. Paul feels so strongly about it that he dedicates an entire chapter and more to this one particular idea. Let’s see what it is.
ICEBREAKER
And here is a really simple icebreaker you can do for this section.
It’s a brain teaser. See who can figure it out first. If I were to give you these two views of a specific 3-dimensional shape, can you figure out what this object would look like from a top view. This is what the object would look like from a front view and a side view. But what would it look like from the top?
And the answer would be this: A circular shape. That’s the only way you could make that side and front view work. Kind of fun, huh?!
TRANSITION
In this final portion of this week’s study, we’re going to look for the solution to another problem. The members of the church in Rome are having a problem. Can you find what it is in 14:1?
A: Now they might answer with saying “they are weak in the faith” and if they do just explain that Paul is referring to new converts that are still developing their testimonies and that they should receive them, and help them. But the real problem is in the next line, the way they are receiving them is causing something? And what is it? “doubtful disputations”
They’re arguing about how gospel principles are to be lived. And Paul tells us what some of those issues are in vs. 2 and 5.
2 For one believeth that he may eat all things: another, who is weak, eateth herbs. (Or vegetables)
5 One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike.
What’s this all about? These problems stem from the conflict we’ve talked about before between Jewish members, and Gentile members. Many of the Jewish Christians members felt the Gentiles Christians needed to live their Jewish customs. Jews had dietary restrictions including not eating pork, and some even took it further by not eating any meat at all. Well, the Gentiles didn’t have those dietary restrictions. Also, the Jewish members were still observing certain Jewish holidays and feasts, while the Gentiles didn’t have those same holidays. Those days didn’t mean anything to them. I’m sure there were other issues, but Paul uses these two as examples. And they’re good representative examples because in one instance you have a group of people who feels like the other group is doing something they should not be doing (eating meat). And the other is an example where one group feels like the other group is not doing something that they should be doing (observing the Jewish holidays). So these differences are causing doubtful disputations between the two groups.
So here is where it gets interesting. You ask:
Are there things like that in the Church today? Latter-day doubtful disputations? Different gospel principles or standards that different members of the Church interpret or live differently.
And then give them a few examples to get them going. And there’s lots of them. Since we live in a church that runs mainly by the “I give them correct principles, and they govern themselves” policy. You can expect there to be some disagreements as to what living a certain standard or commandment exactly looks like.
For example. Sabbath day observance. Some members may feel that it’s not ok to watch a football game on Sunday, It’s the Sabbath, while the other group feels like, hey what’s the big deal, I still attend church, I don’t go shopping, so what if I watch a game with my family, it brings us together.
Some members may feel that man having a beard is not appropriate, we’re supposed to reflect the appearance of the brethren. It’s a rule at BYU and for seminary teachers. While somebody else says, what’s the big deal, Brigham Young had a beard.
Paying tithing. Do you pay on your gross or your net income.
Political affiliations and issues. How can a good member of the church support that particular candidate or issue. There must be something wrong with them.
Modesty issues, some may feel that an endowed member should not wear shorts anymore, others may feel that if they’re long enough, no big deal
Media choices-Some may think that certain movies are inappropriate to watch while others feel those same movies fall within our standards.
I remember when I was younger, drinking caffeinated sodas was an issue like this. Good members of the church don’t drink Coke. I believe that standard though has now been more clearly delineated by the brethren.
I also remember when I was younger that playing cards were not allowed in our home, but then I’d go to some of my friends’ houses, and being a little worried when I saw their families using playing cards.
And I’m sure there are many other examples of areas like this.
Now we’re not talking about fundamental gospel standards or absolute commandments that have been unambiguously clarified by prophets. I’ve done this activity with youth before and sometimes they’ll mention issues that are clearly stated commandments or standards found in the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet, and I have to remind them, that no, that wouldn’t be an example of this because that has been clarified by a prophet. For example, if somebody mentions something like vaping, or pornography, or tithing—those aren’t matters of “govern yourselves” kind of standards. We’re not using this idea to dismiss direct prophetic counsel or commandment, but there are quite a few areas where clear delineations have not been laid out in strict black and white. The brethren say, follow the Spirit and govern yourselves.
But sometimes, these differences of application can cause problems between members. It may lead them to do one of two things to the other side.
According to vs. 3, what two un-Saint like things are the two groups doing to each other?
Despising and Judging. So you have despisers and judgers.
Now this is really fun, and be sure to keep this light, because these can be sensitive issues between members, so we’ve got to approach it with a bit of a sense of humor. So split your class down the middle and say: You guys on this half of the classroom, you are the Football watching, coke drinking, beard growing, shorts wearing, card players. And you on the other half of the classroom, you’re the opposite, you don’t do any of those things. Now you on the second side, which of Paul’s two words describe how you are tempted to treat the other side that’s doing all these things? You judge them. They’re not doing what they should. Any good member of the church wouldn’t do that. You are the judgers. And you on the first side, which of Paul’s two words describe how you are tempted to treat the other side? You despise them. You think, goody-goodies, who do they think they are, always taking things too far, looking beyond the mark, they think they’re so much better than everybody else. You are the despisers. And Paul has some advice for both groups.
Then send each group to the following verses to find Paul’s message to them and then ask if anybody would like to summarize what they learned to the class.
Judgers: 14:10-13
Despisers: 14:15, 20-21
And what does Paul have to say to them, and here you turn to the Judgers side of the class.
To the judgers,
10 But why dost thou judge thy brother? or why dost thou set at nought thy brother? for we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ.
11 For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.
12 So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.
13 Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother's way.
So Paul’s advice? Stop judging them
We will all give an account of ourselves to God. God will judge them, it’s not your place
When we become judgmental we may place a stumbling block for them. They may be tempted to get offended; they may feel unwelcome, they may feel contempt for you. That’s not the kind of spirit we want permeating our congregations.
Now when Paul says that you can just hear the other side shouting out, Yeah. Stop judging us! You judgey judgers.
But Paul turns to them, and he says, “Not so fast, I have a message for you too”.
And what does Paul have to say to the despisers:
15 But if thy brother be grieved with thy meat, now walkest thou not charitably. Destroy not him with thy meat, for whom Christ died.
20 For meat destroy not the work of God. All things indeed are pure; but it is evil for that man who eateth with offence.
21 It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor any thing whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak.
So Paul's advice to the despisers is kind of a harder pill to swallow. If you know that your actions are grieving other people, other members, then you're not being very charitable. So for the sake of peace try not to do things that knowingly offend other people. Now I know that's a hard one for us because we say, “Well hey, it's my right to do these things. I have a right to act the way I want. I'm not gonna change my actions just to please somebody else. If they're offended that's their problem. But Paul jumps in and says, “There’s a better way here.” That's not charitable. You are knowingly offending people. So if you know somebody is grieved with your actions, for the sake of peace is it really that big of a deal to give it up.
I’ll give you an example of this from my own experience. I remember teaching a Gospel Doctrine class and all throughout the lesson, when I would refer to the Doctrine and Covenants I would say the D&C. You know, “Please turn to D&C section 10.” Well after the class was over a brother came up to me and he said, “You know, you're never supposed to use the term D&C. You should always say Doctrine and Covenants when you teach.” And I'll tell you what, honestly, in my mind I was thinking, “That's all you got out of the lesson today? Really?” Now I was polite to him in that moment, but in my mind, my natural man was thinking, “Who are you to tell me how to teach. I can talk the way I want to talk.” Now if I wanted to I could really have become a despiser the next week and continued to use and maybe even emphasize the term D&C . You know, said, “All right let's turn to D and C section 76 looking right at him. But what would that have done? That would have caused doubtful disputations and would not have been a very charitable thing for me to do. So in that situation what should I do? I should for the sake of peace, because I knew that it was offending that brother, stop saying that. I mean, was it really that big of a deal for me just to say Doctrine and Covenants every time? Not really. And so that's what I decided to do. And I believe that helped to maintain a spirit of peace. Now somebody might argue, “But wait. He was judging you. He was the problem, right? Wasn’t he the one choosing to be offended?” Maybe, maybe not. But what difference does that make. What can I do to be a peacemaker and maintain unity. As long as it’s not a matter of principle or right and wrong, something small, why allow it to escalate.
Now I know that doesn’t come naturally. It’s so much easier to say. Well, it’s their own fault if they want to be offended. Why should I change my actions just to please them. And Paul says, because it’s the Christian thing to do. The bigger offense is the contention and disunity that is being created.
Now when the judgers hear that they pipe up and say, yeah, you should change your actions to keep the peace. Paul turns back to them and says, hold on, so if somebody brings Coke to the ward party, is it really that big a deal, just drink something else and don’t get all worked up about it, and can you stop judging how other people dress in church? If they’re wrong, then that’s between them and God, not you. You job is not to judge but to love one another.
So Paul takes a very balanced, fair approach to solving these kinds of problems. Both sides have something to work on.
And now he has some advice for all:
I’d just read the following verses to my classes
14:19 19 Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another.
So only do things that make peace and edify others.
15:1
We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves.
Bear their infirmities. If somebody's not living the standards according to what you think they should be living, they just might still be developing in their faith and their commitment to the gospel. let's bear with their infirmities as they grow, not call them out to make ourselves feel better—to please ourselves.
15:5-6
5 Now the God of patience and consolation grant you to be likeminded one toward another according to Christ Jesus:
6 That ye may with one mind and one mouth glorify God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
So, be like-minded, of one mind and one mouth, and receive one another as members of the Church of Jesus Christ.
TRUTH
Here I would highlight the following truth by saying: When disputation over living gospel principles arises, if I despise or judge others, there will be contention and division. But, if I seek to be like-minded and edify and love others, then there will be peace and unity in the church.
LIKEN THE SCRIPTURES
To liken the scriptures. Have you ever seen yourself on either side of this dynamic before?
If so, what could you do to become more of a peacemaker?
VIDEO
A final suggestion. There’s a great video you could show at this point that could help to drive your point home. It’s called “A Friend to All” with Elder Soares and does an excellent job of illustrating the importance of setting aside differences in order to create communities of unity and love. I’ll include a link to it in the video description below.
CONCLUSION
So. Despisers, judgers, or peacemakers. Which one are we? We should ask ourselves this anytime we find ourselves in disagreement at how things ought to be done in the Church. Peace and unity are crucial in the gospel, and we can’t forget that Jesus said the way the world would know that we were truly his disciples, was if we had love one to another. If we are using our time and energy to fight with each other, how can we expect to have time or energy to fight our natural man or Satan himself. So instead of judging, may we bear each other’s infirmities. Instead of despising each other, m ay we rejoice that our fellow members are living according to what they feel is right. If we can do this, then I believe that our families and our congregations will be filled with righteousness, peace, and joy.
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